I am the crappiest blogger in the New England area lately. Here’s to hopin’ someone pins a cyber-badge on my ass in honor of my shitastic laziness.

Well, the Christmas season is truly upon me. I’m done shopping, for better or worse–suck it up, children, you’re only getting six gifts per annoying jerkface this year and that is me totally overlooking some terrible behavior. Said kids are now home for a hot week and a half (read: Dear Lord, please help me to not murder anyone and bury him/her in the  backyard–that’s all I really want for Christmas. The ground is too frozen and it would be an awfully hard dig. Hell, I already have a bad back). People at the grocery store should watch how they look at me. I’m an asshole on the edge.

I usually put up two trees–a grown-up tree I put all purple, green, and blue ornaments on, with white lights and a silver garland, and a kid’s tree they can decorate with all their crappy kid things (within reason–there is still a red and blue theme involved, and I do move/remove ornaments that are not up to Kimber code).

This year I conveniently “forgot” about the kid tree and no one seemed to notice.

I also haven’t done real Christmas cards for a few years now. I still get them from old work friends and relatives, but I quit a while back. My husband gave me shit the first year and I was all like, ” Here’s the gargantuan list. Have at it, if it’s so important to you.” Needless to say, it didn’t happen.

My grandparents still get a hard copy–they are almost ninety and obviously not of the internet age. Everyone else gets an e-mail/Facebook picture of my kids with a holiday message for health and happiness, like my typing that will make it so. Like they give a shit. I doubt it. I mean, I’m still getting cards/pictures from people, and if they aren’t on Facebook, it’s interesting to see which parent the kids are looking like this year, but otherwise, it’s a colossal waste of money and trees. Also energy. Lazyass Scrooge that I’ve become, I couldn’t possible dedicate hours to Christmas cards.

Anyhow, anyone out there care to out-Scrooge me?  I’ll give the Scroogiest commenter an e-copy of my novelette “Bound by Ink.” Well, I can’t be all bitch if I’m giving stuff away, right? Okay, maybe I still can…

I dare you to out-Scrooge me!

Blurb:

On an alternate Earth, Key has his marriage ink placed out of duty to his friend, Kaya, but realizes his mistake too late. He runs from the woman and her family, desperate to find a happiness that is sure to elude him in his village full of narrow-minded people. In the wilderness he discovers Dax, a man who left their tribe to seek his own freedom. Lust sparks between them, but with Kaya’s father on the hunt for Key, and Key’s own guilt plaguing him, will the two fugitives be able to find their happily ever after?

-Kimber