Someone start frying up the pierogis!  What?  Not those kind?  Well, perhaps next time I can convince a handful of my wonderful Polish pals to guest blog.  But until then, I ask your opinion on everything I can possibly pull out of my ass.

And, incidentally, answer truthfully, please.  Despite my facetious attitude, I will base my future on your reaction.  Pretty please don’t drill me a new one.

Here goes.

Feel free to get yourself a refreshing beverage.   Perhaps an ice-cold soda.  This is very taxing.  Like the SATs.

[Whip-cracking sound]

Back to work, you lazy bastards.  I’ll take that Fanta out of your paycheck!

I will let that conclude my asinine polls post.  Remember to get out there and vote; even if it’s only for the guy who sucks less than the other guy.  Study hard.  Stay in school.  He’s only saying he loves you to get in your pants.  Your mom really knows what you did last summer, she just doesn’t want to talk about it.  A penny saved is not much.  A stitch in time is best left to your grandma.  She has nothing better to do anyway.

You’re welcome.

Damn you spell check.  Stop messing with my pierogis.

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