Tag Archives: fuck

100th Sunday Snog– #Giveaway and Blog Hop

So, the lovely and so philanthropic Victoria Blisse is hosting this fabulous blog hop.  She has about 50 hoppers lined up, all posting kissing scenes with giveaways.  Frankly, people, you can’t lose.  Please consider tossing a small donation toward the charity Doctors Without Borders by clicking the above button.  As I’m sure you well know, they do tremendous work the world over, saving lives with minimal resources and little thanks.  Here’s a great way to say we care about the work they do!

My kiss comes from my WIP, Double Takes, Shooting Stars Book 2.  It probably needs more editing, but this is what happens when I fly by the seat of my pants.

Incidentally, Gio Savale, my (maybe?) bisexual rock star is flying by the seat of his pants in this scene, and loving every minute of it. 😉  For a little back story, he is the star of a reality show he hates, and he and his new friend Lance have just seen a commercial for said show while watching a baseball game at Gio’s place.

———

“What was that all about?”  Lance’s warm fingers slid from Gio’s, leaving his hand cold.

“Ah, it’s dumb.  The world’s most degrading way to make a paycheck.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”  Lance stared at something past Gio’s shoulder as he spoke.

“The producers took some stupid poll and found out the viewers want to see me…” Gio paused in search of the right word.  What the hell did people want to see?  And then it hit him. 

“Squirm.  They want to see a supposedly bisexual man drowning in the same-sex dating pool.  It’s all bullshit—just for ratings.”

“So you’re not really dating that guy?”

“No!  Well, yeah, I have to for the show.  But not really.  It’s just a publicity stunt, you know?”

“So you aren’t bi, then?”  Lance cocked his head and skewered Gio with those intense hazel eyes.

“Yeah!  No!  I mean…it’s not like I…”  What the fuck was he even trying to say?  You’ve screwed around with guys before, ass munch.

The confused squint of the eyes staring back at him—moss-green with spikes of brown radiating from his pupils—told Gio his answer didn’t exactly make sense to Lance, either.

“I always wondered if those rumors were true before you got married.”  Lance made it sound like a question.

“Well, you know how it is…when you’re young, and you party too much.  Sometimes you do shit you wouldn’t normally do if you weren’t fucked up, right?”  Gio gave a weak laugh.

Lance’s face was introspective and finally he shook his head.  “When I was young and I partied too much, I never ended up in bed with a woman, so no…I don’t know.”

Hold the fucking phone.  Gio felt something skip inside his chest.  It was nauseating and exhilarating all at once.  Like a rollercoaster when it crests the top of the hill.  He knew it was about to drop—craved the intoxicating feel of free-fall—but was scared shitless at the same time.

Lance placed his dinner on the coffee table and turned to Gio.

What is going on?  How do I even respond to that?

“So…?”  Gio began, but then Lance’s right hand wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to those amazing eyes, his mouth closer to Lance’s flawless one.

Lips, soft yet firm and unbelievably full, pressed to Gio’s and his eyelids pulled down like they were weighted.   Fingers carded the hair at the back of his head and lured him to kiss back.  Or maybe it was the faint spicy smell Gio now associated with Lance that made his lips pucker and nibble against the other guy’s delicious mouth.  Gio detected a hint of lemon poppy-seed dressing as he sucked a voluptuous bottom lip between his own. 

Lance’s tongue darted out to lick Gio’s closed mouth and Gio opened to suck in a surprised breath.  That had to be why he parted his lips, but Gio’s tongue had a will of its own.  It met Lance’s wet tip and they swirled together, exploring each other’s taste, marking new territory in the other’s domain.

Gio heard a low rumble and wasn’t sure if it was he who had groaned or Lance.  He wanted to grab the man sitting next to him, wanted to slide his hand up the inseam of his jeans and stroke his dick into dripping hardness.  Gio’s own cock was filling, twitching against the constraints of his pants with each meeting of their tongues.

Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?  Nothing about this kiss—hot slippery tongues meshing and soft bristles tickling his cheeks—nothing about it was like his memories of other men.  Those were hazy and unreal and this was vibrant, electric.  His conscience had long ago associated those fleeting, drugged sexual acts with perversion.   He had swept them under the carpets of history along with his ancient addictions.  But this kiss didn’t make him think of sinfulness and mistakes.  It felt right like nothing before ever had.  It flooded his senses and his prick and had him aching for more—everything Lance had.

Gio pulled away from his thoughts and Lance’s lips.  His breath came in shallow gasps that exposed him as much as the bulge in his pants did.  Lance slid his warm hand off Gio’s neck and took a shaky inhalation.  Gio swallowed hard as he swiped his hair back with a trembling hand.  His plate was still in the other hand, tilting precariously but thankfully not dumped all over the floor.  He set it down on the table just as a cheer went up on the television.

The Red Sox had scored a home run.  I only got to first base, but man, I was close to dropping to my knees and knocking this one out of the park.  What the fuck?

—————-

For my giveaway, I’ll gift an e-copy of Forever is Now, Shooting Stars Book 1. If you’ve already read it, don’t be shy about entering, and we can discuss another prize.  To be entered, leave a comment and follow my blog if you aren’t already. I’ll throw everyone into the random.org mixer on Sunday 9/29 and get back to the winner shortly.

Thanks for checking out the snog and spreading the love for Doctors Without Borders! 🙂

1. Victoria Blisse 2. Lucy Felthouse
3. Kay Jaybee 4. Maggie Mitchell
5. Harper Bliss 6. Amy Valenti
7. Gemma Parkes 8. K D Grace
9. Amy Armstrong 10. Lavinia Lewis
11. Tamsin’s Superotica 12. Jacqueline Brocker
13. A kiss is more than a kiss 14. Love is a Many Flavored Thing
15. Vanessa de Sade 16. A Special Sunday Snog
17. Jillian Boyd at Lady Laid Bare 18. Lisabet Sarai
19. Lily Harlem 20. Patricia Yager Delagrange
21. C.A. Szarek Collision Kiss 22. Dianne Hartsock
23. L.C.Wwilkinson 24. Jaime Samms
25. Normandie Alleman 26. Justine Elyot
27. Diana DeRicci 28. Belinda McBride
29. Tonya’s Tales 30. Layla Hunter
31. Tricia Andersen 32. Thea Landen
33. Tabitha Rayne 34. Colette Saucier
35. Kiru Taye 36. J.P. Bowie
37. Love is a Many Flavored Thing 38. 100 Kisses from Justine
39. P.K. Morris 40. Grace Marshall Romance
41. A Special Sunday Snog 42. Tilly Hunter
43. Tara Lain 44. Kimber Vale
45. Juliette Cross, NA Urban Fantasy 46. Ashe Barker – a snippet from Darkening
47. Candlelit Magic by Wendi Zwaduk 48. Hot Laps by Megan Slayer
49. Amber Garr: The Evolution of a Muse

-Kimber

 


Dirty Talk Dos and Don’ts

Don’t shout.  All caps, and loads of exclamation marks are not only jarring in the written word; they are equally disturbing in the bedroom.  “OH, FUCK, YES!!!!!!!!  SPANK MY ASS, DADDY!!!!!”  Even if he doesn’t mind being called daddy, this is gonna kill the mood.

The Overly Dirty Talker at The Frisky

The Overly Dirty Talker at The Frisky (Photo credit: rachelkramerbussel.com)

Do whisper, or strive for that just-smoked-a-pack-of-unfiltered-cigarettes-voice.  “Ooooh yeah.  I love the feel of your hand spanking my ass.”  Better.  My personal preference?  Lose the daddy/daughter/son roleplay business.  But, hey, to each his own.  I won’t tell you how to dirty talk if you don’t tell me how to dirty talk.  Oh, wait a minute…forget it.

Do ask questions.  “Do you like it when I put my finger in your ass, baby?”  “How does my wet pussy feel wrapped around your hard cock, stud?”  This is a good conversation starter.  Try it.  Ya never know.

Don’t ask questions the wrong way.  “What are you doing down there?”  “Did you think that was my clit?”  Or, “What the fuck?!”

If you know he doesn’t like your finger in his ass, or if he just likes to pretend it isn’t happening even though he does like it, don’t ask him the ass question either.

Don’t laugh while you’re talking.  If it feels too weird to murmur, “Bite my nipples,” then just skip it this time.  Practice alone, or with your best girlfriend.  When you’ve mastered saying it with nothing more than a lascivious grin, try again.  Laughter is a sure-fire ticket to Flacid Penisville.

Do giggle seductively.  Big difference.  You can pair this with the daddy talk, pony tails, and knee-high socks.  They work well together.

Don’t rhyme.

No.  Really.  Don’t do it.  I can’t even bring myself to give an example.

Don’t use purple prose.  “You’re going to make my hidden flower bloom, my darling! Yes, cleave me fiercely with your manroot!”  This could be disconcerting if not downright sickening to your lover.  He’s not plowing the freakin’ fields here.  Okay, maybe in a metaphorical sense, but let that shit stay in the musty coffins of seventies romance novels.  Yeah, we all cut our teeth on them, but it doesn’t mean flouncey junk like that is sexy.

Do use real words.  Real dirty ones.  No penis or labia talk, either.  It’s cock and pussy, and he is going to make you come if he keeps doing that with his tongue.  Whoops, that rhymed.  “Fuck” is a good one–you can’t go wrong with the most vulgar expression your dirty little imagination can come up with.  Shoot for the stars.  Beg for a creampie!  By the way, I prefer come to cum, and if anyone has a problem with it, they can go blow.

Don’t ask your partner to do it if you aren’t willing to pony up some sordid sentences of your own.  For one thing, if you ask every time you have sex, your partner might be offended and think that you don’t find him/her sexy enough.  He/She will think you need the dirty talk just to get off.  Trust me, if you are constantly asking, but never reciprocating, it could become a bad thing.

Do talk dirty to try to get your partner to jump in.  You may find you actually enjoy it, and the person you’re with may not feel too self-conscious if you do it first.  In the end, you never know what some people are comfortable with, and what turns them on or off.  Experiment.  If it’s not working, try something new, or, as in the case of the guy who incessantly asked for dirty talk; break up with him.

Life’s too short to waste your time having selfless sex.

-Kimber


Who Here has Screwed the Pooch?

I’m wondering about weird phrases today.

It’s raining cats and dogs. Or maybe it’s colder than a witch’s titty. Oh, how the worm has turned, probably because it was a piece of cake.

What got me thinking of these dumb sayings, you ask? Well, for some reason, “screwed the pooch” came up in conversation and I got stuck analyzing it:

How is the term “screwed the pooch” at all socially acceptable?  Who started it and why didn’t the first person to use it get slammed by everyone within hearing distance?  It just doesn’t make sense. Why? For the love of Pete, WHY?!

As an author, I know that basically all publishers forbid animal love. While the erotica industry  is largely accepting of most forms of snoo-snoo, bestiality is pretty much a standard no-go everywhere you look. People getting kinky with pets? Hard stop. With good reason, I might add.

I do love to pet my pussy, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never “screwed the pooch.”  I won’t even allow a dog to lick me, to be honest.  Grosses me out. I know damn well where that tongue’s been and I don’t want any part of it.

And they say the human mouth is the dirtiest.  My personal jury is still out on that. I’ll let you know the final verdict once the zombocalypse hits.

So, what other asinine phrases can you think of?  I revel in imagining “great balls of fire,” and “for the love of Pete,” especially since I know a very conservative Pete.  How about “holy shit?”  I can’t help but picture a priest in an outhouse for some reason.  These are all well-known, oft-used expressions.  But why?

What if we change it up the next time we’re in pleasant company?  Will the revised versions have the same effect?  Are my new phrases better or worse?

My best buddy just messed up royally, but I say, “Oh, man! You just made sweet love with a dog!”

“Huge flaming testicles!  That kid is driving me insane!”

“Oh, for the sake of being largely enamored with my husband’s unattractive coworker.”

“Well, priest in an outhouse, this is a garbage poker hand.”

Actually, I could get on board with the flaming testicles.  But really, where the hell do we come up with this excrement?  The English language is walnuts. Someone pass me the flippin’ raisins ’cause I’m gonna start mixing it up in everyday speech just to see if I can start some new idiotic idioms.


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