Tag Archives: erotica

Interview with Author Max Vos

I really wanted to title this “Interview with a Vampire-Leprechaun” since it’s St. Patty’s weekend and both vampires and leprechauns come up in this interview.  But, alas, I didn’t actually interview a vampire-leprechaun.  Sound’s both exciting and dangerous–I’d be all trying to get his gold and he’d be all trying to suck my blood, meanwhile, there’d be the interview.  It could be anyone’s game.

Okay, enough with the bloody shenanigans.  I did, in fact, interview M/M erotica/erotic romance author, Max Vos.  It was a good time (maybe not vampire-leprechaun good, but I don’t want that comparison to diminish the experience).  Max was sweet enough to put up with my silliness, and for that, I thank him.

Ready.  Set.  Go!

So, Max, I hear you wrote a vampire novel that isn’t your average blood-sucking yarn.  Wanna tell us a bit about that and what makes it different?

I did. I did it on a dare actually. I wrote it during NaNoWriMo. I had a really difficult time in getting it started. The vampire thing has been so overdone and I didn’t want to do the same ol’ same ol’, ya know? So I basically wrote the whole thing in less than three weeks. Once I got started, and knew where it was going, it almost wrote itself.

This story doesn’t really focus on the vampire aspect, but on the plot of the story. It just so happens that there is an entire platoon of vampire Marines. And who doesn’t love a hot and hunky Marine? I guess that is what makes it different.

Is there a particular author or book that first turned you on to writing gay erotic romance?  Who or what was it? 

What got me started writing was a now dear friend, Susan. She hit me up on a social site wanting to know about M/M relationships and how a Dom/sub relationship works between men. We got to be quite close while she was writing her book in this genre. She then sent me a few M/M erotic romance books, and I was hooked. She talked me into writing a few stories. The first story I wrote got published, which shocked the hell out of me.

I had also read Josh Lanyon’s book on how to write M/M erotic books, which helped a lot. I mean, I hadn’t done any type of creative writing since I was in high school. I was pretty much forced to retire, (I was a Chef) when my feet became so bad I couldn’t stand for the hours needed, so I was really looking for something to do. Now I love it and can’t seem to stop writing.

How would you describe your writing style?

How would I know? LOL I will have to answer that by saying what others have said about my style I guess. Hard hitting, gritty, emotional, extremely graphic. I hold nothing back as to how real gay men have sex.

Are there sub-genres or themes that tend to pop up frequently in your work (paranormal, contemporary, sci-fi, horror)?  If so, what are they? 

Well, the only Paranormal book I’ve written is the Vamp book, “The V-Unit.” I do have a tendency to write about Marines. I have to admit, I do have a thing about them. Although a lot of my short stories have chefs or cooking in them. I have three stories in print with Ravenous Romance, and two of them have something to do with cooking.

The first was “Cooking English”, which is in “My First Threesome.” The other one, just released last month was “Hot Peppers” published in “Snowed In.” I was asked to do another ménage story, so I did a follow-up with “Hot Peppers.” Don’t have a publishing date on that one yet. The other published one was about geeks, so I put a fireman and a hot geek together. I have to admit, I kind of knew the geek in real life, and he is very true to form. LOL

Let’s say you were abducted by aliens.  Why did they choose you and why did they consequently let you go? 

Oh hell, what a question. Hmmm, okay…they chose me because I can cook a mean Beouf Bourguignon (French Beef Stew).

They let me go because I’m a royal pain in the ass, and stubborn as a mule.

While you’re writing/planning—music or no music?  If music, what kind?

Ahhh, I get up early, because I’ve been getting up early for so many years I can’t help it. So first thing is I turn on the news, and have it going on the background. I normally turn it off at nine in the morning, and then it is music the rest of the day. Classical all the way. I have a pension for Chopin. United Kingdom radio is my go to station on the computer.

When it comes to choosing a love interest, what are your three must-haves that start with the letter S.  What are your three absolute turn offs (I’ll be nice and let them start with any letter). 

Oh how awfully kind of you, LOL. Let’s see…the letter S.

How about SEXY.

Smoldering eyes. For me eyes are very important. They say so much about a person.

Shapely ass. How’s that. A man should have a great ass. LOL

Now for the peeves or turn offs. The first one would have to be shaving. A real man doesn’t shave his pubes into the shape of a heart. TOTAL turn off.

Trimming of chest hair. If you have it, flaunt it. I like a furry man personally, and that is a huge turn off to be all manscaped.

Bad breath. Nothing worse than to lean into a hot man and have stank breath hit you in the face.

Oh, I hear ya there!  You’re talking to the girl who brushes the enamel off her teeth.  Bad oral hygiene makes me insane.  Now I’ve got the old Close Up toothpaste theme song stuck in my head.

What’s the meanest thing you ever did to one of your characters? 

I killed his ass. He was a sweet and innocent kid from the Midwest, but he just had to go. LOL

Sweet and innocent, huh?  Sounds like he was asking for it.

You have a story in “Geek Lust.”  Can you give us a quick teaser for that short story? 

“Geek Lust” was fun to write. As I think I said, I knew the geek from years ago.

Here’s a little bit of “Geek on Fire.” –

Eric thought it was cute the way Al kept trying to avert his eyes away from his own pointy nipples, sticking out from his t-shirt. Damn, he was so adorable, Eric thought.

Without thinking, Eric pulled Al into his arms and pressed his lips to the other mans. Caught off guard, Al’s mouth opened from shock, allowing Eric full access to the other man’s warm, moist orifice.

Al seemed to protest after the initial shock wore off, but quickly gave in, as the kiss hastily turned passionate. Eric’s tongue reached for Al’s tonsils, plunging repeatedly towards the back his throat. The longer the kiss lasted, the more Al relaxed into Eric’s body.

Tell us a little about your latest release or project.  Where can we find it? 

Well, I love doing shorts. I think they are fun, and a quick and easy read in this hectic and busy time for everyone. Another author, CR Guiliano, and I are each doing a St. Patty’s Day-themed story. We each are going to post them for free on our own blogs. It is the age old question of how different women write M/M fiction than men. Josh Lanyon has hit upon this several times, so we are going to put it to the test. Even though we both write in this genre, I think we have totally different styles. I look forward to how our readers will respond.

Both are sexy and fun. I hope everyone will leave a comment.

I can’t wait to check them out!  

Okay, it’s pimpin’ time:

www.Max-Vos.blogspot.com – blog of course

MaxVos@ymail.com – IM’s encouraged.

Max Vos on Facebook

Max, thanks so much for coming to play in my sandbox!  Don’t take any wooden shillelaghs from any vampire-leprechauns–they’re a crafty bunch, I tell ya.

I raise my green beer to you, Sir, and look forward to seeing you around!

-Kimber


Interview with Ravon Silvius and Giveaway!

Today I welcome M/M erotic romance author Ravon Silvius to my blog.  We’ve got a fun interview in store for you, and the opportunity to win a PDF of Ravon’s latest release, “Remembrance.”

Comment at the end for one chance to win.  To throw your hat in the ring twice, follow my blog (shameless, I know), and for a third chance, pop over to Ravon’s blog and subscribe.  Finally, tweet this post and you can qualify four freakin’ times!  That’s gold!  I’ll collect all the votes and draw a random winner on Saturday, March 16th.  May the luck of the Irish be with you!  Ravon will contact the winner, so don’t forget to leave an e-mail address with your comment (in the blah blah at whatever dot com format–damn spambots).  Feel free to tell me which ways you are qualifying so I don’t hurt my wee little brain with all the counting. 🙂

Since I can’t win, I’m going to have to buy this one, because it sounds right up my alley.  Smokin’ hot sci-fi guys!  Yum.

Now, on with the show!

Hi, Ravon!  Great to have you here.  Let’s get right into it, shall we?  Screw the foreplay!  Do you have a character you’ve written who you most strongly identify with?  Who and why?

Ooh, tough question! I often write characters who I’d like to be, not who I actually am, but let me think…

I think I relate to both Nick and Julian, from Alpha, which was my first novel. I see some of my ambition in Nick, and I see a lot of my uncertainties in Julian.  I want to do great things and go places, but I always second guess if I’m good enough.

What got you interested in writing M/M?

I can honestly say that it was yaoi manga that first got me into the genre. I hadn’t realized there was fiction out there that had gay characters, and I began devouring it as soon as I found it. That also led me to find slash fiction for anime and video game characters, which I read and enjoyed. That was back in high school. I’ve mostly grown out of yaoi, but once I got to college and got my Kindle, I found M/M.

Writing it came along with reading it, with one minor caveat. My very first novel, written before I graduated high school, was the WaterLord Trilogy, which I always intended to contain gay characters. A lot of people told me it would never sell, though, so I focused on other things until I realized how popular M/M was. I began writing more M/M, and soon enough I started going for publication. Then I realized I could take my old story, improve it, and finally share it. So in a way, it came full circle.

You write a lot of high fantasy and science fiction.  What authors/books inspired your love for those genres?

I always loved fantasy and sci fi, even as a child, when I mostly read animal fantasy such as Tad William’s excellent TailChaser’s Song. I got into high fantasy when I read the Wheel of Time series, which to this day is my favorite series of all time, warts and all. As for science fiction, I can’t think of a series that influenced my love for it early on, but there are plenty of science fiction authors out there now, including John Scalzi, who I really enjoy. A lot of my sci fi explores themes that I don’t see often in mainstream sci fi, though.

What is your writing process like?  Are you a planner?  Pantster?  What is your favorite writing tool or tip?

I’m definitely a pantser, although I tend to have the ending of the story in my head at the very least. Of course, it doesn’t always turn out the way I intended.

My favorite piece of writing advice? Hmm…I can’t think of one that is more helpful than any other. It took me a long time to write well, and I’m still improving. But I think one piece of advice that helped me is to remember that my first draft is never as good as I think it is. It’s always good to step back from your writing for a while after finishing and edit it later. You’ll find many more mistakes that way.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

42!

I see you are privy to the top secret woodchuck information [Ravon and Kimber do the woodchuck handshake complete with buck-teeth chattering].

Do you believe in Happily Ever Afters in real life?  Why or why not?

I don’t think Happily Ever After in the fantasy sense is realistic. A story is never truly over, and no matter how romantic and wonderful a romance is, there will always be the annoyances and fights and challenges down the road. But a slow, quiet life together, taking the challenges as they go? Sure, that can happen. A true loving relationship is measured at the end, not the beginning. Real romance is an elderly couple walking slowly down the road without even realizing they are walking in perfect sync with each other. 

Who are your favorite M/M authors right now and why?

Hmm…I tend to have favorite books, not favorite authors, but I’ve loved a lot of what Mark Alders has written. Mark writes a lot of science fiction, which is less common than other things in M/M. Also, I loved Outcast Mine by Jamie Craig.

If you were stuck on a deserted island, what one book, one CD, and one type of food would you choose to have with you?

Food is easy-chocolate. As for book, probably something long, as I read fast. Maybe Andrew Ashling’s Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse? They’re long and complex. And CD…I’m easy with music. I have the ability to like anything if I listen to it enough times, so probably just a CD of the top music on the charts or something.

 If you were conducting this interview, what question would you want to ask yourself and how would you answer it?

Yikes, the hardest question yet! 😛 Hmm…I’d ask what kind of themes I go for in my writing and how I got the ideas for my stories. And now I get to talk about my books!

For Perils of Forgotten Pain and Remembrance, I wanted to explore the concept of a cyborg. In a lot of sci fi, cyborgs are present, but they are the faceless enemy, or a way to show lots of explosions and ridiculous battles. I wanted to see how changing the human body would affect someone, and in Perils, how changing memories could affect someone. Herman and Aldric, the main characters in Perils and Remembrance, are some of the most complex characters I’ve come up with.

For Alpha, I wanted to explore social inequality. Even today, access to good schools, tutors, and high economic standing has a huge effect on life success. I took that to an extreme with the idea of an intelligence increasing machine that only the rich have access too, creating a giant social gulf where intelligence is the only thing that matters.

As for the Waterlord Trilogy, like I said above, it was my first novel. I wanted to write a pure fantasy, and it also addresses the idea of the outcast, since the main character is a water mage driven out of a society ruled by fire mages.  

Please give us a two-hundred word teaser from your latest release, as well as the tag line for your book. J

I’ll share a bit of Remembrance with you.

The world is ending, but love can remain.

The war is over. The majority of humanity has fled the dying planet to live in space, leaving behind a chemical called Overgrowth that will speed up the restoration of the war torn world.

But some were left behind, and not all by choice. A chapter of humanity is coming to an end. Aldric, a soldier who thought he had nothing left, finds a city that is struggling to hang on to life despite predations by desperate killers. There he meets Daniel, a historian who sees potential even in destruction. Aldric agrees to help Daniel with his project to catalogue what will be the end of civilization on Earth for nearly a thousand years. In doing so, he may even find love, but only if Daniel can put aside his own past and accept Aldric’s feelings.

If that sounds interesting to you, leave a comment on the blog! I will select one person at random and send them a free PDF copy of Remembrance!

For more of my work, you can check out my blog here!  Don’t forget to follow for an extra chance to win!  

I have lots of books, and a free read that is ongoing right now. If you want a free New Adult M/M story with a dash of fantasy fun, check out Freshmen Blues on my blog. The first chapter is already up!

For direct links to buy my books, check out my author page at Extasy here.

Thanks so much for stopping over to chat, Ravon!  I look forward to checking out your work!

Thank you so much for having me! J


Fifty Shades CliffsNotes

Chinatown Branch Library

Chinatown Branch Library (Photo credit: JenWaller)

I doubt FSOG will ever be required reading for any class, and therefore Mr. Cliffs will never give us the shortened version of the trilogy. Too bad for me, cause I’d really appreciate a chart detailing sexual positions and accouterments used by the happy couple.

I’m trying not to inadvertently do anything even remotely similar.

Good thing a church mom friend of mine read them all in her book club.  I’ll be picking her brain at the kids’ choir practice tonight.

If anyone out there has a quick and dirty cheat-sheet, kindly point me in the right direction.

AMF,

Kimber

P.S.  Before I posted this, I checked to be sure such a book didn’t exist.  There are, apparently, CliffsNotes for “The Hunger Games.”  Seriously?  What kind of pathetic high schooler can’t be bothered to read the book?  FSOG–it’s just a matter of time, I guess.  :/


#Sexy Snippets Sunday

Today’s #Sexy Snippet comes from my story “Bound by Ink” in Storm Moon Press’ “Written in Flesh” anthology.  Yes, it is guys loving guys.  Deal with it.

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——-

“I want to be the one toying with you for the rest of your days, Dax.”

Key’s index finger traced the seam of that perfect mouth.  He pulled the lower lip down with a light scrape and watched Dax’s pink tongue dart out to taste his skin.

“Do you want to put that declaration in writing?”

“A tattoo?”

“I want to put my name on you.”  Dax drew Key’s finger into his mouth, slowly sucking it in up to his knuckle.

WrittenInFlesh_author_copy

——–

Have a sexy Sunday, all!  Don’t forget to check out the other snippets!

-Kimber


The Next Big Thing–Bigger and Badder

This is like Die Harder, because I’ve done this already.  Maybe I should have titled this “The Next Big Thing–Judgement Day.”  Hey, it’s a different book I’m answering questions about, so perfectly legit.  Don’t get your tighty whities all in a bunch.

Anyway, I was tagged by Velvet Panic, a M/M romance blog spearheaded by the lovely Janice Matthews.  Go check out her blog post on her WIP, “Hunter.” It’s a sexy read so far.  I know this, because I’ve sampled it.

Now, about me…

What is the working title of your book?

“Double Takes,” book two in my Shooting Stars series

Where did the idea come from for the book?

Book one in my Shooting Stars series, duh.  “Rock and Hard Places” is the first book.  My MC in “Double Takes,” Gio Savale, had a walk-on role in RaHPs.  Mainly, I wanted to find a way to meet up with my boys Chance and Alex again.  In the process, I have fallen in love with Gio and his boyfriend Lance. I’m 2/3 of the way done with the book and we haven’t even seen the boys from RaHPs yet.  But we will…oh, we will [rubs hands together like I have something evil planned even though I don’t–actually it will be a barrel of monkeys].

What is the genre of the book?

M/M Erotic Romance

Which actors would you choose to play your main characters in a movie rendition?

Gio would be played by Anthony Kiedis ten years ago.  Surprise, surprise.

English: Anthony Kiedis, frontman of the Red H...

English: Anthony Kiedis, frontman of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in July 2006 Deutsch: Der Frontmann der Red Hot Chili Peppers, Anthony Kiedis, im Juli 2006 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lance would be played by Tom Hardy.   I’m getting a little hot just thinking about it.  Tom Hardy does that to me.  Actually, so does Anthony Kiedis.  Okay, moving on.

What is your one sentence synopsis of the book?

Ugh.

No!  That wasn’t it!  There is too much going on for one sentence!

Okay…my attempts at a log line.  Go!

Love comes when Gio Savale least expects it and from the most unlikely person, but can he conquer both his and Lance’s demons to win their happily ever after?

I say yes, and quite frankly, I’m in charge here.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency/publisher?

I plan to submit to a publisher.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

It’s not done yet!  I started it for a half-assed NaNoWriMo.  Been chipping away at it ever since.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Ummmmm….

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Reading KA Mitchell just to see what all the boy on boy fuss was about inspired my love of M/M, so let’s just give her credit in a broad sense.  My love of music and concerts and sexy-fine rock stars inspired me to write the series.  Of course, the third book is about Kyrie, a drama queen to the gills.  No, really.  He wants to be an actor, so he can still be a Shooting Star (double entendre intended–get it?  Get it?), but he’s no rocker.  He is funny, fruity, and endearingly naive, though.  I’m looking forward to writing his story next.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

“Double Takes” grabs that rock star from his pedestal and throws him down in the ring of hard knocks.  Gio is going through a rough patch and I think it’s fun to show a famous person struggling through all the crap the not-so-beautiful people have to endure (financial problems, divorce, a child custody battle, unsavory characters trying to take advantage of him, and love with—oh my—another guy of all things, who also happens to come with his fair share of baggage).  So far, I am having a lot of fun with this story. 😉

Oh, and there is also hot man love that isn’t consummated for a while, so, yes I am a bit of a tease in this one. ❤

I’m going to tag my buddy Tallulah Rose.  Can’t wait to see what she’s working on these days.  I’m also tagging the wonderful Jadette Paige, fellow M/M author and she of “The Story Behind the Book” blog.  Check ’em out!

Over and out.

-Kimber


#SexySnippets Sunday

The name of the game is seven sexy sentences every Sunday.  The people in charge?  The Nuthouse Scribblers.

After you read mine, check out the other contributions by clicking the button below.

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My seven sentences come to you from my story, “My Soul to Take,” in the recently released anthology that saves lives, “Coming Together: In Vein.”  All proceeds go to Doctors Without Borders, as you probably already know. 🙂

“I am what you made me.”  She rubbed her lower lip against his.  Her nails combed through his hair and scraped down the back of his neck.

“I want your tongue inside me.  I want to wrap my legs around your head and feel your warm breath burning the inside of my thighs.”  Her voice was a demanding whisper against his ear.

She sucked on his earlobe as if it were his cock, and then teased inside with her tongue.

So there you have it.  Crave more sweet vampire love?  Check out Coming Together: In Vein.  No lie, this book will get your undead rocks off.

Proceeds go to help Doctors Without Borders! :)

Proceeds go to help Doctors Without Borders! 🙂

Now get back to work!

-Kimber


Photo Manipulation for Dummies (By A Dummy)

Okay, so, in case my title isn’t enough of a disclaimer, here’s another one:  I am so far from a photo manipulating pro that it’s laughable.  Why am I writing this post?  Well, on the off-chance someone out there is even less skilled/experienced than I in the fine art of photo manipulation, I may be able to help that person (and in the process feel superior).

Also, I just needed a post idea, so if you don’t like it, walk away, Renée.

On to the meat and potatoes…

The other day I spent hours (in which I should have been sending my fictional boys off to a baseball game, or some such nonsense) altering photos for my Facebook banner.  Let me just interject here and say that I really mostly hate Facebook.  Okay, so, anyway, I went to my old standby, Photobucket, to do some messing around.

Now, Photobucket seems to want to be a contender in the photo-altering biz, I tell ya.  Old, user-friendly (after a learning curve I’d rather not discuss) Photobucket is gone.  Enter the Beta.  It’s still got the basic functions, so thankfully I did not have to learn anything too new.  And their fun little photo enhancing functions from a short while back that NEVER worked for me, now do.  So cool!  It does get locked up on occasion (or maybe that is my sweet little HP mini which has entered into the ripe old age of three).

Enough talk!  Show us the damn pictures, Kimber!

Easy, killer.  Easy.  Your wish is my command.

Okay, so here is the banner thingy I’m using on FB.  Yes, it is top-heavy (like me, RDRR), but the reason for that is I had to crop it to fit in FB.  I also had to squeeze my text up in the middle a bit (yes, these are technical terms and shut your laughing face!) so my smaller left-hand-side-picture didn’t cover it.

See?  Here is my FB page so you know what I’m talking about.  Feel free to friend me while you’re there, or poke me, or click “Like” on this stupid page, or leave a burning bag of dog crap on my FB doorstep.  Whatever.  I really don’t care.

It’s a little crooked, but you get what you pay for, right?  Wanna see my original picture I took myself, right before a thunderstorm at dusk?  Okay!

5-29-12 N10As you can see, it was a pretty sweet shot to begin with because I have a fancy-shmancy camera and I got lucky.  Real photographers could be tearing me a new one right now.  Leave it in the comment box or tell your story walking.

But, I’m sure you notice the coloration is a bit darker and spookier.  After clicking edit, I chose “effect” and just tested a bunch out.  Then, for the super-cool outer space feel I went with “overlay” and “space.”  There are tons to choose from.  My rainbow heart was in “stickers,” and I happen to think my dripping come font is both apropos and classy.

Well, that concludes today’s crappy lesson.  I have to go teach Sunday school now.  Keep it cool, kids.

-Kimber


An Erotica Writer’s Resource

I attended a local writers’ group for the first time last week.  Before the date, I’d debated whether or not I would own up to writing smut.  Of course, I blurted it out during my introduction, because, A: I can’t keep a secret, and B: I love shocking people.  It’s fun.

Well, the theme for the meeting was, “What are your favorite books on writing that have helped your craft,” or something like that.  We all brought in a book or two, and said why we liked them, and passed them around.  Many were poetry-related books, as this group seems to have an abundance of poets.

For my part, I considered bringing in a now out-of-print book that I’ve had for at least a decade—long, long before I started writing erotica, back when I figured someday I might write romance and saw this book at a great price and snapped it up.  Already I had my romance/erotica lines blurred; my sex/love boundaries woefully screwy.  Story of my life.

My internal smut-sensors must have been telling me something, though.  I always did read Playboy and Hustler for the articles (and look at them for the pictures) when I was a kid, stumbling upon an uncle’s or friend’s father’s stash.

Mercedes Ambrus

Mercedes Ambrus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It was written in the stars that I would write about people buffing the wood and falling in love.  Ahhh, sweet romantic lust (see, I still mix the two together).

So, anyway, I digress.  The book I was talking about before I was so rudely interrupted by myself was “How to Write Erotica” by Valerie Kelly.  Yes, this book is dated—it came out in the eighties and, yes, you can almost picture the big hair and chicka-bow-bow music in the background when you are reading the excerpts.  But, for something over 20 years old, it’s aged surprisingly well.  True, the list of publishers is obsolete–don’t buy it for that (and, incidentally, it’s available used for about a buck plus shipping on Amazon from various sellers.  Note the condition of the book before purchasing, as you never know if the previous owner was using it for stroke material–it could happen.)

The book is an interesting read, start to finish.  Valerie Kelly illustrates the how-to’s of erotic letter writing, short-shorts, longer shorts, and novels–all still relevant structures for today’s authors.  “The Marketplace for Erotic Fiction” section is more a history lesson on erotica, at this point, but I think it is still fun reading for anyone interested in the business to see how it has evolved in the past twenty years.  It’s still evolving.  Who knows what is ahead?  If history repeats itself, as they say, I’ll be ready with my leg-warmers and my copy of HTWE.

Anyway, Kelly goes into the basic formula for story-telling (Plot, Character, The Setting, The Climax, POV, The Denouement).  This section is still valid, as are the parts about tense, pacing, and making things sexy (yeah, 80’s sexy is still sexy).

Even Kelly’s advise on query letters can be modified for today’s electronic submission process.  True, we don’t need to know about 20lb paper or SASEs anymore, but skip it, or read it just to appreciate how much easier we have it now.  When I was your age, I had to walk to school in five feet of snow.  Actually, I took a bus.

Finally, Kelly has exercises to inspire your creativity.  Need a jumping off point?  Close your eyes and pick one.  Her glossary and list of sensual words at the end are tré useful.  I’ve penned in my own additions at the back of the book.

So, that was a rather lengthy book review, it turns out.  I give “How to Write Erotica” 4.5 stars and the coveted Vale Smutty Stamp of Approval.

And to answer your question, I did not bring it to my writer’s group (and good thing–there was a rather suspicious character present who may have absconded with, and defiled my book).

I brought “Self Editing for Fiction Writers” by Renni Browne and Dave King.  I like that one, too, even sans any juicy bits.

Now, for a little exercise of our own.  Pretend this is a writer’s group meeting.  I’m the creepy guy leering at you.  What book/s do you recommend for your fellow authors?  Don’t worry, I’ll only borrow them until the next meeting.  Sorry about any pages that might get stuck together…

-Kimber


The View From My Office–My Writing Space

Now I sit me down to write

Be sure my back cushion feels just right

Knock questionable tissues onto the floor

Look for Post Its–I must have more!

Squint and strain at scribbled notes

What?  Have my MC milk a goat?

Little, Brown share the space

With “How to Write Erotica” (in your face)

Cup of coffee, still pretty hot

Just get writing.  Screw the plot!

Can't close the door.  My office is in the eat-in kitchen/family room.

Can’t close the door. My office is in the eat-in kitchen/family room. Kids’ craft zone in the drawers beneath.

And, yes, my office comes complete with karaoke.  Sometimes I just need to sing.  This is actually an old shot.  I now have five Living Dead Dolls keeping a milky eye (okay, seven milky eyes, two red, and one black) on me from up top.

8-26-12 N2

What the hell is this? A weird Dragonosaur punch balloon with his crystal ball of clarity? Yeah, he’s gone now, but he sure was a fine mascot for some time.

LIVING DEAD DOLLS : Eggzorcist

LIVING DEAD DOLLS : Eggzorcist (Photo credit: minowa*naitoh)  Yes, I do have this one.  My BFF thought I needed these to help with my horror writing.  Indeed, she was correct.

So that’s where my magic <cough cough> happens.  What weirdness do you keep in your “office?”

-Kimber


I Don’t Do Resolutions

But here is a list of some things I am going to try to do/do better for 2013.

First off, I know this is going to be a kick-ass year.  How do I know this?  Well, after my trip to the grocery store yesterday, I was bringing in my reusable bags and a container of strawberries fell out.  I caught it between my leg and the car.  It didn’t smash on the driveway.  All of my over-priced strawberries didn’t roll down our icy hill and into the road, and then the sewer drain.

You know why they didn’t?  Because that would have been so 2012.  Fuck that.  This is 2013, baby.  This is the year I don’t drop strawberries.  Presumably other good things will happen, as well.  It only makes sense.  That’s strawberry logic.

So, to assist the good luck fairies, or ladybugs, or heads-up pennies, or short green dudes (or whatever superstition supplies copious amounts of good fortune), I will strive to improve myself in the following areas….  Right-O.  I’ll make my own destiny and all that jazz.

1.  Drink no more than the doctor recommended 1-2 alcoholic beverages/day.  I actually started this in 2012 and plan to continue.  My liver says thank you, Kimber.  My friends probably think I’m lame now.  Oh, well.  Incidentally, I used to hang out with some doctors who did not follow said advice.  Just saying.  Hippocratic hypocrites.

2.  Exercise more.  I plan to put on a 1/2 hour TV workout once my Kindergartener gets home.  No way am I working out during kid-free time.  That won’t change for 2013.

3.  Write more.  So far this is my second blog post today, and I wrote about 600 words on my WIP.  That sucks.  I want at least 1000 a day, but I will get there today, as God as my witness.  I got sidelined looking at shirtless pics of Tom Hardy for inspiration and designing a cool memorial tattoo for my character, Lance.  I feel these were good and valuable uses of my kid-free time.

Here and here are some lovely links to Tom Hardy naked with his boyfriend from Band of Brothers.  How did I not see this until right now?  That is just the muse I needed.

4.  Take lots of vitamins and eat better.  I’ve had more homemade salsa in the past 24 hours than Taco Bell makes in a year (because they don’t make homemade salsa, but still–I ate a shit-load).  It was chock-full of veggies, beans, and even some lime and mango.  I will probably regret this later.

5.  Try to be more tolerant of idiots.  I have 3 kids.  That’s all I have to say.

6.  Ignore social media until the allotted times, and then set a fifteen minute hard stop when I do get on it.  It really is a productivity-suck.  And the worst part is, Facebook is largely annoying but for the occasional photos of half naked men on Wednesdays.  Why do I do it?

7.  Only check Facebook on Wednesdays.

8.  Masturbate more.  Hey, ya gotta have goals.

9.  Clean just a tiny bit more.  Or not.  Whatever.  Maybe just don’t have guests over.

10.  Be good to friends, family, and random strangers.  If we all do it, we could be living in that future world from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  Maybe even young Keanu Reeves will be there.  He might even have his shirt off.

Be excellent to each other.  Party on, dudes.

-Kimber


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