Tag Archives: Book cover

Retirement Plan for the Cover Model Sluts

Okay, first of all, I’m not doing this to offend anybody–not authors, not publishers, not cover artists, and not even these models. Heck, I know how little say trad/small press published authors get when it comes to their covers. I know how slim the stock photo pickings are for the fabulous cover artists who make this magic happen. I know how tedious it is to scroll through page after page of photos of half-naked men. 😉 Still, I feel the need to do a roundup of the boys I want to see retire for 2015. They’ve had a great run. They’ve gotten buckets more snoo snoo than most gigolos ever will. They’ve posed and pouted, and on any given Amazon list, it would appear they’ve made a pact with the devil or have some sort of cover model monopoly going on.

But it’s time they stop sowing their wild cover model oats and settle the fuck down, already.

I’ll start out with this blond cutie pie on my own cover for Double Takes, just to prove I’m not trying to bash anyone:

Double Takes-600x800

I don’t know his real name, but I think of him as Lance, because that’s who he represents on my cover. And he makes a great Lance. He also makes a great many other dudes. He’s a total cover whore, unfortunately.

Ooo, they gave him brown eyes on that one!

I could go on and on proving just how much this guy gets around, but I’ll spare you the plentiful evidence and move on to the next tramp who seems to be the other blond “it” boy.

He’s everywhere, but I’m not looking for any more of him.

Oh, dear Lord, this guy:

I just can’t…

Sweet Enola Gay. I remember the first time I laid eyes on Mr. Tall Dark and Blue-Eyed. I thought, man, that guy is gorgeous! Great cover model! Apparently, so did every cover artist in the world.

Now, I look at him and think about all the cover STDs he must have picked up over the past few years. Ick. I’m surprised readers don’t get confused and assume they’ve already read every new book that has this guy on it.

Oh, and here’s his cousin or brother or something:

I think those two are having a brotherly competition to see who can bag the most cover boyfriends. Odds are awesome they’ve even had a cover dalliance together, possibly for a twincest book. Tut tut, cover sluts. And, yes, this guy is up there sharing his cover cooties with Lance on “Family Man” above.

Oh, and this guy:

Please, don’t even get me started on this guy with his long flowing locks and baby butt chest. Make it go away. Hand over his pension check. Make him an offer he can’t refuse. Whatever needs to happen, here. I know I’ve seen a lot more of this Samson around somewhere, but can’t seem to locate him now. He’s like the wind, and often seems to play a vampire on his covers. Maybe he really is a vampire, which would explain how long his cover model career has lasted. If any of you eagle-eyes out there know of more covers with this dude, point me at ’em so I can add them to my collection. You know, just because.

And, hey, if you have a cover slut you think is ready for retirement, please do share. Who are you sick of seeing?

———-

By the way, Chris from Stumbling Over Chaos does a great job of collating overworked models and mashing the covers together for mini title stories.

Anyway, fingers crossed I’ll have a cover reveal for people to analyse in a few. I tried to pick out guys who weren’t total tramps, even for my ex-porn star (okay, so I’ve seen him a few places, but, hey, he’s a porn star). 😉

-Kimber


What’s Up?

I’ll tell you what’s up with me. I just sent back my final edits for “Star Catcher,” my sci-fi erotic romance being pubbed with Liquid Silver Books. I’m super excited! Not sure what my publication date is yet, and I have a cover mock-up I’m waiting to be finalized before I flash it around.

I’ve also been working on creating a book trailer, which has been a fun (and time-consuming) experience.  I could tell as I played background music and watched it over and over again last night that my husband wanted to say, “Just pick one, already!”  But I’m a little bit of a perfectionist, and not one to settle until I’m absolutely sure there isn’t something better around the corner.  That being said, I think I found the perfect music and I’m waiting to put my book cover in before finalizing that little project.

kiss

I’m rethinking my beginning to my rock star book, as well as the title.  I may start things off with a big bang (every pun intended) to kick things up a notch with my spice weasel and cut out some telling later in the story.  Also, that will give me the opportunity to write some eighteen-year-old twink sex, which could be fun.

Speaking of twink sex, I’m also working on a story for the Goodreads Love Has No Boundaries event.  Here is my thread so you can check out my pic/prompt. That’s right, it’s a gymnast, in his skivvies, with a pompadour. Not to be confused with Mr. Green, in the Library, with the candlestick. I think I’m about halfway done with this story, as I’m targeting around 10 K words.  Apparently, someone wrote about 80 K last year. I’m crazy, but I’m not that crazy. I also have other stuff on my plate.

My goal is to get my first rock MS out by the end of this month.  I also saw a few short story calls I was salivating over, so I’ll see if I can get some shorts cranked out/buffed and sent.

And then I can finally get back to my second rock star book, “Double Takes.”  At least I got my boys out of the shower a while back.  Oh, and fun dribs and drabs of plot have been coming to me on my witch story, so I’m getting excited about hitting that baby again.

So there you have it.  Looks like a plan.  Now to get the hubs back to work and the hobbits off to school so I can actually get something done.

-Kimber


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