Category Archives: BDSM

The Best Laid Plans

This sounds like a post about planning to get laid and then having it backfire, doesn’t it?  Or, is that just my perverted take on it?  Well, it’s not.  If I plan to get laid, I get laid, dammit.

Last month, I decided to whip out 20,000 words for a sub call about witches for Total-E-bound. They are planning their Halloween releases, and it sounded right up my alley.  Of course, in true Kimber fashion, I over-shot on my plot.  I sent my psuedo-novella to Lefty—-my wing-woman, my sounding board, my editor, and BFF—-who, in true Lefty fashion, asked me where the hell the rest of my story was and made fun off my bitchy heroine and typos.

Cooking Witches - Unknown Date

Cooking Witches – Unknown Date (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, the upper word limit was 20K and that’s where I stopped.  There was no “rest of.”  But Lefty confirmed my fears.  I knew while I was writing it that I had a ton going on and the page-space was running out under my fingers.  I rushed some things and left way too many questions unanswered.  So, “Spelling Trouble” goes back to the drawing board.  I have a nice first 1/3 of a novel.  😛

Thankfully, Lefty is not only brutally honest, she’s also a wicked-awesome-plot-bunny-wrassler-extraordinaire.  If the science ever permits it, I’d like to have her head sewn on my shoulders so we can combine our evil forces and take over the world.

Lefty, the hubs and I saw a commercial for “I Killed My BFF” last night, and I knew in a heartbeat that you are the one I would kill if I was on that show.  I love you, man!

-Kimber


Fated and Hated Word Lists

Do you have a handful of go-to words you frequently use while writing?  I’m sure authors of all genres have those words we find ourselves typing more than others.  I, for one, also have a few that make me cringe while reading, or occasionally when they sneak from my fingertips when I’m not paying attention.

The words I’m discussing today are those I use (or try not to) while writing sex scenes.

First, those fated to be used (perhaps too much):

Slick –Notice it’s first?  Definitely at the top of my list for favorite sexy words.  It can mean anything from a smooth operator to a smooth surface.  Love it.  My current WIP is at 13K words and I’ve got four slicks.  Only one sex scene, too.  I may need to trim some.

Sweet — From terms of endearment such as sweetheart and sweet thing, to sugary sweet kisses, this word pops up on numerous occasions and needs to be checked for overuse.

Thrum — This is another one I adore (perhaps too much).  It’s just one of those words that best describes the vibrating sensation you feel when you have your hand wrapped around a cock when it does its thing.  Of course, too many thrumming cocks can get old.  Once in a while they need to do something else. 🙂

Teased — Current WIP clocks in at five teases.  Nah nah na-nah nah.

And now for the hated:

Danced –Blatant overuse has made this cliche-like for me.  Dancing tongues.  Blah.  I’d rather write they were doing the Charleston.  At least it would be more original and less cheesy-seventies-romance-novel-esque.  I’ve probably still had it slip in on occasion, and I hate it all the more for that.  Sneaky bastard.

Moist –Moist is an adjective for the delightful pastries pimped by the Pillsbury Dough Boy.  It is not for cooters.

English: Barbie Portrait

English: Barbie Portrait (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fleshy –I know plenty of publishers are looking for stories with plus-sized heroines these days.  Fabulous–down with the Barbie dolls!  But fleshy?  It’s not an appealing way to say a girl has a lot of ass to grab.  I vote no.

Undulating –I had one of these in my WIP.  It was the perfect descriptor for what was happening.  It was also perfectly irritating each time I read it.  I knew when I typed it, it was only a placeholder.  Today, I banished that bitch.  Adios, undulating; you never stood a chance.

How about everyone else?  Any words you love or simply can’t stand?


Fifty Shades CliffsNotes

Chinatown Branch Library

Chinatown Branch Library (Photo credit: JenWaller)

I doubt FSOG will ever be required reading for any class, and therefore Mr. Cliffs will never give us the shortened version of the trilogy. Too bad for me, cause I’d really appreciate a chart detailing sexual positions and accouterments used by the happy couple.

I’m trying not to inadvertently do anything even remotely similar.

Good thing a church mom friend of mine read them all in her book club.  I’ll be picking her brain at the kids’ choir practice tonight.

If anyone out there has a quick and dirty cheat-sheet, kindly point me in the right direction.

AMF,

Kimber

P.S.  Before I posted this, I checked to be sure such a book didn’t exist.  There are, apparently, CliffsNotes for “The Hunger Games.”  Seriously?  What kind of pathetic high schooler can’t be bothered to read the book?  FSOG–it’s just a matter of time, I guess.  :/


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