Monthly Archives: February 2013

Fifty Shades CliffsNotes

Chinatown Branch Library

Chinatown Branch Library (Photo credit: JenWaller)

I doubt FSOG will ever be required reading for any class, and therefore Mr. Cliffs will never give us the shortened version of the trilogy. Too bad for me, cause I’d really appreciate a chart detailing sexual positions and accouterments used by the happy couple.

I’m trying not to inadvertently do anything even remotely similar.

Good thing a church mom friend of mine read them all in her book club.  I’ll be picking her brain at the kids’ choir practice tonight.

If anyone out there has a quick and dirty cheat-sheet, kindly point me in the right direction.

AMF,

Kimber

P.S.  Before I posted this, I checked to be sure such a book didn’t exist.  There are, apparently, CliffsNotes for “The Hunger Games.”  Seriously?  What kind of pathetic high schooler can’t be bothered to read the book?  FSOG–it’s just a matter of time, I guess.  :/


Lust in Time: Happy Release Day!

It’s here!Lust in Time” is now available from MLR Press (ManLoveRomance, that is).  I’m so excited to have a story in this anthology and to be among the notable gay romance authors who contributed.

Here is the blurb:

History and fiction meet at the crossroads in these erotic tales of love and lust. From ancient Israel and Greece and Rome, to the time of the Vikings, the Wild West, Woodstock, and all points in between, witness the steamy encounters, lurid battles, raucous clashes, and tender moments of couples who span the centuries. Get swept up in the lives of the biblical David, Emperor Hadrian, barbarians from Britannia, a 19th Century physician, Jewish immigrants, cowboys and Indians, Billy the Kid, Civil War and World War I soldiers, hippies, and so many more, all in search of adventure, passion, and, yes, even fame.

Lust in Time

Authors: C.C. Williams, Kayla Jameth, Tilly Hunter, Julian Siminski, Stevie Woods, Jeff Mann, Kenzie Mathews, James Thorpby, K. Vale, Michael Roberts, Salome Wilde, Steve Rudd, Barry Brennessel, Richard May, Landon Dixon, Rob Rosen.

My Civil War tale “1865 A.D.” should fall somewhere in the middle of this sprawling compilation.

So, if you’re a history buff who loves steamy M/M romance, check this one out.  I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy!

-Kimber


Naming A Witch

Ravens

Ravens (Photo credit: Sergey Yeliseev)

I’m working on a witch-themed BDSM novella.  Normally, I don’t write BDSM, but the story made me do it, and someone is about to get tied down and nailed, and dammit, she’s gonna like it.  That’s beside the point.  The point is, I’m a little fuzzy on that someone’s name.

Yes, the BDSM makes me a tad antsy, as I have no practical experience with it, but I’m milking my creative cow, watching plenty of porn, and reading some truly bad books (which I suppose are a lesson on what not to do–come to think of it, the porn probably is, too).  So, I think I’ve torn down my mental roadblocks on that aspect of the story, and my characters are finally in a good place to get busy.

The problem I have now is my witch’s name.

So far, she is Raven in my WIP.  Not bad for a witch; it came as a bolt of inspiration I received during the Super Bowl, if you can believe that.  The name itself got me in the mood to write a witchy character, but for some reason I pictured her with red hair, not black as one might expect.

Pulling

Pulling (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now, parents can, and do, name their children without seeing what they look like, so of course there could be hundreds of red-haired Raven’s and blonde Ruby’s out there, but since I’m really the one doing the naming here, should I go with something that better describes her appearance?

Or maybe Raven perfectly describes her dark attitude…

I’m undecided, but I’ve got time and I’m totally open to suggestion.

Give me your good, bad witch names, friends.  Just kindly check your Sabrinas and Hermiones at the door.

-Kimber


I’ll Show You My Progress Bars if You Show Me Yours

This is me whippin’ ’em out!

My friend, Kate Lowell, was sweet enough to give me step-by-step instructions on these–not once, but twice.  She is a love and I am an idiot.

And now I’ve got them, all shiny and new (and in need of frequent updating).  I even had to cross multiply to figure out my own percentages.  A little math is good for my old left brain once in a while, since that side gets a bit dusty.  The code is probably supposed to figure it out for you, but I couldn’t figure that out.  For once it was easier to do math [waves idiot sign].  I also happened to find a calculator, so that firmed up my decision to DIY.

Well, if you use WordPress and are suffering from progress bar envy (I know, mine are so big, aren’t they?), I’ll link you to my penis pump, I mean progress bar supplier.  You, too, can have big, sexy progress bars in just a matter of minutes.

Just remember, don’t put too many on your site or you’ll go blind.

Ultra-wide Visions (VII)

Ultra-wide Visions (VII) (Photo credit: konstriktion)

-Kimber


Snow Daze: Screw You #Nemo

I knew it before school called it, but it still hurts.  We got slammed by Nemo; missed school on Friday, cancelled again today, not that I blame them. The roads are still impassable in some spots.  They certainly aren’t wide enough for the big yellow buses and potential oncoming traffic.  I wonder if they will even be able to resume tomorrow.

I don’t even want to talk about my aching back from the crazy amounts of shoveling.  Add to that misery my husband working from home yet again and you have a recipe for mass murder.  Thank God we didn’t lose power–I assure you I’d be in jail right now.  Damn you Nemo.  If you were that orange fish, I’d fry your ass up and feed you to my cats.

The real bitch of it is that February break is next week.  This happens every f’in year.  They never take days from that stupid week.  Yes, February “vacation ” is my most odious enemy–a dreaded seven days that throw a pall over the rest of the year.  I never go anywhere, and I’m stuck inside with three kids.  All the Vitamin D and mothers’ little helper in the world can’t make that palatable.

Instead, they’ll take from April break.  That one I actually do enjoy.  It’s Easter.  We travel.  We can walk outside without needing a Newfoundland with a thermos of booze strapped around his neck.  Green things are growing.  Life is good again and I have a much higher threshold for kid and husband bullshit.

But noooooo, they’ll pull from spring break and tack days to the end of the school year that screw with the camp schedule for the little fruits of my loin.

Maybe I’ll work a violent scene into my writing today, if I get to write at all.  Maybe I’ll finally get my wet, naked hunks out of the shower.  Maybe I’ll put some Tool on and go wash some dishes.

Where’d I put that mother’s little helper…?

This has been a public bitch fest from your friendly, neighborhood sex writer.

-Kimber


Fabulous First Review for Coming Together: In Vein

Coming Together: In Vein has gotten its first review and it’s a beaut!

Nathan Burgoine over at Erotica Revealed had so many wonderful things to say about this book, but I’ll pick a few of my favorites to quote:

“Lisabet Sarai is well aware of the tropes and has gone out of her way to collect stories that take at least a step (but usually two or three) away from the usual vampires…”

and,

Coming Together: In Vein was a very welcome surprise. None of the stories felt familiar or typical (some even crossed into speculative fiction territory) and it was a very welcome reminder that given the right authors, even something that feels as “done” as vampires can – pardon another pun – gain new life.”

If you’d like to read the entire review, hop on over to Erotica Revealed.

Proceeds go to help Doctors Without Borders! :)

Proceeds go to help Doctors Without Borders! 🙂

-Kimber

 

 

 


#Sexy Snippets Sunday

Today’s #Sexy Snippet comes from my story “Bound by Ink” in Storm Moon Press’ “Written in Flesh” anthology.  Yes, it is guys loving guys.  Deal with it.

snippets button

——-

“I want to be the one toying with you for the rest of your days, Dax.”

Key’s index finger traced the seam of that perfect mouth.  He pulled the lower lip down with a light scrape and watched Dax’s pink tongue dart out to taste his skin.

“Do you want to put that declaration in writing?”

“A tattoo?”

“I want to put my name on you.”  Dax drew Key’s finger into his mouth, slowly sucking it in up to his knuckle.

WrittenInFlesh_author_copy

——–

Have a sexy Sunday, all!  Don’t forget to check out the other snippets!

-Kimber


The Perks of Being an ePublished Author

Today I have author Tara Quan guest posting about ePublishing.  Interesting stuff, so read-on, McDuff.

When I was researching options for my novella Tower in the Woods, I was able to find a good number of articles on the merits of both traditional publishing and self-publishing. However, I wasn’t able to find much information on the perks of going through an ePublisher, which is what I ended up doing. I thought I should take the time to summarize what I liked about going this route.

Disclaimer: I am NOT comparing ePublishing to self-publishing and/or traditional publishing. What I have written in this post most likely pertains to the other two mediums as well. I’m just writing about my personal positive experience with an ePublisher.

#1 – Free High-Quality Feedback

There are only a limited number of times my husband will beta-read my writing. When I first confessed my dream of becoming a romance writer, he was excited and wanted to read everything I wrote. That enthusiasm has since died. He will beta-read my completely finished work once, and he will not read it again even if he suggested extensive revisions (he’s the type that reads Strunk and White for fun). I don’t blame him.

Once I signed the contract with my ePublisher for Tower in the Woods, I was sent comments their readers provided during the acquisitions process. While the manuscript was not meant to be revised based on this feedback, it was good information to mull over. Just reading someone’s (very extensive comments) about something I wrote makes me a better writer. The readers noticed a plethora of inconsistencies I didn’t see, as well as elements of my style that weren’t quite up to snuff, and I put their comments to good use in my WIPs.

#2 – Editing Services

During my Content Edits, I realized my penchant to use “-ly” adverbs, my extensive overuse of the word “that”, my obsessive and unnecessary use of the “em dash”, as well as the fact that my math sucks when it comes to keeping characters’ ages straight over time. I added scenes, and I wrote out scenes. The finished product is far superior to the manuscript I submitted. Most importantly, I learned from the process and didn’t do quite as bad with the second manuscript (although I was still guilty of “that” and “em dash” abuse).

And then comes the Final Line Editor – the grammar guru extraordinaire (yes, I just used an em-dash). Semi-colons and deleted commas got put back in, and more compound sentence structures got tweaked. She caught all the little things that both my CE and I missed, and I bow to her detail-spotting abilities. I don’t possess them, and I may never develop them, so I need someone like her in my corner.

#3 – Cover Art

I am not a visually artistic person. I buy books based on recommendations, usually in electronic form, and I almost never look at cover art. I have less time to read now, and my book purchases are limited to those written by my favorite authors. I pre-order these even before the cover art finishes loading on Amazon.

Therefore, having an ePublisher handle this portion of the publication process for me is great. All I did was complete the cover art questionnaire and send it back. The amazing cover artist sent me back a draft, I sent her my very vague comments, and she sent me the final version. I adored it. The process, in a nutshell, took very little time and was painless.

#4 – Formatting and Distribution

I edit an internal newsletter as part of my day job. Therefore, I know what a pain formatting is. It’s not fun, and it takes a lot of time for everything to be perfect. (Note: Please, please, please do not put hard tabs at the beginning of each paragraph.) In this day and age, ebooks need to be available in a variety of file formats to reach the widest audience, and all those formats have quirks. Then they need to be sent to all the different retail venues, which  have nitty-gritty guidelines of their own.

Can I do the formatting and distribution myself if I wanted to? Probably, but the ebook won’t be as clean. It won’t go to all the retail venues that it needs to show up on, and more importantly, doing this myself is perhaps one of the least fun things I could think of doing.

#5 – Networking (aka Passive Promotion)

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but selling a book isn’t an exact science. ePublishers will not be buying advertisements for books willy-nilly (perhaps for one of their top-selling authors, but usually not for a first time author). Lack of promotion is perhaps the biggest criticism I see lobbed at ePublishers as a whole, and different publishers do promote to varying degrees.

What I want to point out, however, is what all ePublishers do even if they don’t have the budget for any marketing at all – they connect you with other authors. Those authors have readers. They have experience in the field, and they remember what being a new author was like. I hate to say this but, even if 1-2 of those authors buy your book (sometimes just out of solidarity), that’s 1-2 more readers than you would get without that publisher. If they retweet your book release, have you as a guest author on their blog (by the way – thanks for having me Kimber!), or even point you in the general direction of a book blogger who might review your book, that is considered promotion. Moreover, when an established author’s readership comes to the ePublisher’s website to buy their book, there is a chance an errant click can send that same reader to your book. If you’re super lucky, that reader might actually buy it.

So what do authors give up for these perks – between 60-80% of royalties, depending on the ePublisher. I hate to admit this, but this isn’t a lot of money based on average ebook sales. If this is your first year as a published author, this is really not a lot of money. I can attest to this as an obsessive NovelRank checker—moneywise, I am getting the much better end of the deal. Like me, they’re banking on making money off the tenth or so book I get published, not the first nine.

Tara Quan’s post-apocalyptic zombie romance, Tower in the Woods, was released by Liquid Silver Books on January 14, 2013. It is currently available on the publisher’s website, as well as on Amazon.com and All Romance eBooks. It will be available at other retail outlets in the near future. Consolidated Buy Links can be found at http://taraquan.com/undead-fairy-tales/

Tara’s Arabian Nights-inspired fantasy erotic romance, Warlock’s Pawn, will be released by the same publisher on April 15, 2013.

 Tara’s Website/Blog: www.taraquan.com

Twitter: @LaylaTarar

Thanks for stopping by, Tara!  For the record, I just bought your book.  You had me at sniper.

-Kimber

 


Sweet early V-Day post by the ever-funny Edward Hotspur. If this doesn’t get you in the mood to eat too much chocolate and over-pay for dinner, I don’t know what will.


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