The Hunger Games: My Pseudo-Review

Lefty and I went to see Hunger Games last night.  I do believe this was the first time I attended a movie on an opening day/night.  I read the books a while back and we had been planning this date like a couple of lamo Twihards (only older and much cooler, for the record.  Also for the record, I enjoyed making fun of the Twilight movies, and nothing else). 

I had an impromptu discussion with a random mom at the playground yesterday about all the Hunger Buzz.  She hadn’t read the books, so I told her she must get busy on that and then watch the movie next weekend.  Not sure she’ll take my advice.  Especially after I bashed Twilight knowing full-well she and her teenage daughter read them/watched them together and were fans.  But, seriously, I’m just trying to steer you toward a “real” plot line and “real” writing.  Try it on for size; you may like how it fits.

Anyway, this mom said she heard that she would like Hunger Games because it’s similar to Twilight in that both have a love triangle.  Katniss has to pick between Peeta and Gale just as what’s her face has to pick between the two half-human goons.

I was like, what?  That is so not the allure/point/relevant part of the story at all.  I mean, is there a wee bit of romance to keep the little girly-girls hanging on the edge of their seats?   Yeah, just a little.  But, as I told her, the books are appealing because—wait for it—Katniss kicks ass!  There.  Sorry for the spoiler.  The books are about a selfless and strong girl prevailing in a death arena and at the same time, causing a revolutionary spark.

It’s not about whether Edward is cuter than wolf-boy whatever the hell his name was.  Put a freakin’ shirt on.  Oh, no?  Because you won’t have anything at all going for you without the pecs on display?  Yeah.  We all know already.  And don’t get me started on “make that dumb face again because the camera loves it” Bella.  Puke.  But I’ll stop defiling my post with that crap.

And I’ll thank anyone else who is so inclined, not to defile Hunger Games with ridiculous Twilight comparisons.

Let the young ladies of the world watch/read it and appreciate a balls-to-the-wall heroine who does what she does—wait for it—for the love of her sibling!!!  No boys even make her radar.  She takes Prim’s place to save her, and wins the games so she can go home and keep feeding her baby sister because her mom is a waste of space.

Shock me, shock me.  But even the kiss with Peeta—especially in the book—was contrived to gain sympathy from all of the Games viewers.  Not because she wants to get in his pants.  Or make Gale jealous.  Or get a piggy-back ride at vampire-speed through the woods so she can watch her boyfriend sparkle in the sunlight.  She’s just trying to get them both out of there alive.

Speaking of getting in pants– if I got to choose a pair from the Hunger Games movie (and it wasn’t illegal to seduce underage boys) I would pick—wait for it—Seneca Crane’s cream-colored pants!  That’s right; I liked those way better than the teenager pants.  Applause!  I’m not one for facial hair, but Wes Bentley‘s was decidedly tattoo-like and I would like to take this opportunity to thank him for my delicious dream last night.  XOXO, Wes.

Too bad those pants won’t make it to the next movie. L

Sorry for the spoiler.

Anyway.  Hunger Games.  I know you haven’t heard of it, but see if a movie theater/book store near you has it available.  It’s good.

About Kimber Vale

Author of romance of all stripes. View all posts by Kimber Vale

8 responses to “The Hunger Games: My Pseudo-Review

  • surlygurls

    Thanks for the link back to our review! Your post made us laugh a lot and we completely agree with you on the fact that Katniss is a kick-ass female heroine!

    Like

    • kimbervale

      Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you got a kick out of it. Your review was dead on. Peeta says at the end of the movie, “What do we do now?” to which I quipped “We wait for the next movie” as opposed to Katniss,’ “We try to forget.” Should be a boatload of fun!

      Like

  • The Hunger Games – a movie review |

    […] The Hunger Games: My Pseudo-Review (kimbervale.wordpress.com) Share this:EmailFacebookRedditDiggTwitterStumbleUponTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Movie Reviews and tagged Gale, Hunger Games, Jennifer Lawrence, Katniss, Katniss Everdeen, Peeta, Peeta Mellark, Suzanne Collins. Bookmark the permalink. ← Three awards and a Lucky 7 Meme […]

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  • Vampires, Tributes and Jersey Shore Wannabes… | You've Been Hooked!

    […] The Hunger Games: My Pseudo-Review (kimbervale.wordpress.com) […]

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  • jlheuer

    Hunger Games like Twilight, NO! You should have told her ” oh yes, you’ll love it” and then let her find out for herself about the death arena. ha!

    I have to say I enjoyed the Twilight books, well up to the last one, but the movies just leave me cold. Mostly because I hate the casting and think Patinson is terrible. Casting in Hunger Games rocked.

    Like

    • kimbervale

      The casting was perfect, I thought. I never would have pictured Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, but he totally was…
      I did read the first Twilight, but never bothered with the others. Just too slow-moving for me. I like action on my action, and that wasn’t cuttin’ it. For teeny-bopper stuff I enjoyed Cassandra Clare’s first trilogy–she keeps things busy. 🙂

      Like

  • The Hook

    I love your reviewing style very engaging and fun! You weave your way back and forth from the source material quite nicely.

    Like

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