Too drunk to what?

You know that Buck Cherry song, right?  The one that makes you cringe because their first hit was so smokin’-eighties-hair-band-hot that you figured they were good for more of the same?  Well, they weren’t, apparently.  And yet, I think of this sophomoric offering as I consider editing today.  Too drunk to what????  Edit.  No, never what they say in the song.  I’m a chick, after all.  The alcohol only makes it (me) easier, baby.  Not getting off, necessarily, but drink enough and I just don’t care if it ‘happens.’  I’ll take care of that tomorrow in my free time.

The thing is that I like a little cocktail (juvenile snicker) while I’m writing.  But it is such a fine line between writing and drinking, and editing and drinking that I frequently get off-balance.  I can write just smurfy while drinking.  I hate sitting down with a fresh one and realizing that my job today is to edit.  I fuckin’ hate editing anyway.  I need a computer program that takes all of my intoxicated butchering of the English language and crams it into a borderline insane yet genius-clairvoyant perfect package.  I would pay quadruple the Scrivener price for that.  Make me pretty on paper, Scrivener!  Fix my typos while I type.  Now that would be an invention.

Without the work. 

While you’re at it, I want to push a format button on each submission site that will automatically make my piece exactly the way the editors want it, minus the 1-2 hours of my time.  Just plug-in your name, story title, yada yada yada and the rest is done for you.  Because (don’t tell anyone), I am not all that computer savvy and nearly everyone wants it at least a little bit different.

Shocking.  I know.  You all thought I was a tech nerd.

It takes me at least two tries to turn on my cell phone and realize it isn’t charged.

About Kimber Vale

Author of romance of all stripes. View all posts by Kimber Vale

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